Psychology Today

Tuesday, June 14, 2022

Infidelity/Cheating--5 Steps to Recovery


John Gottman's most recent research has been in the area of building trust after a relationship partner has been unfaithful. In his research he has found that there are 5 things that the unfaithful partner does that significantly heals the relationship. These are the steps.

The partner who has cheated:

1. Must have believeable & genuine remorse

2. Must have acquired new behaviors based on "why they cheated."

3. Must compensate their partner--what's important to their partner becomes important to them

4. Must build a new relationship with their partner that includes honesty, transparency, and cherishing.

5. Must be able to attune to their partner's negative emotions--awareness turning towards, tolerance, understand, non-defensive responses, empathy

If you and our partner are struggling with the difficult task of mending your relationship after one of you has been unfaithful, I can help you work through these steps. 

You can reach me at 512-919-2069. Located at 5808 Balcones Dr., Suite 101, Austin, Tx 78731



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